Really really....miss u lotss..

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Birthday??still so boring...n lonely...

        birthday??so wad -_- still need to tuition.....i am happy tat could get bday wishing from u by sms..i am really appreciate it ...but...my birthday wish was hope tat u could back to my side..i don think it is possible...but i really hope so..wonder did u saw this blog?...if got chance i would ask u..will u forgive me n back to my side?..but i got no the courage to ask so...the answer might be a mystery forever...

Boringggg!!!!!!!!!

              its the 5th day of the holiday..its ending soon..but everything juz same...so freaking boring...all the thing keep repeat n repeating...Somehow i feel wanna chat with her but i dont dare to call her or even sms her ..i keep waiting at msn for her to on9 but she nvr on even from the 1st day of holiday..did she chged email?or blocked me from msn...izit after breaking cant b fren anymore?or she doesnt want me to hurt her once again?maybe this question will not hav any answer forever..
Where n when can i find my Solace?
Awaiting a dream that might never come true....
A wish that might never be fulfill,
Too many negative thoughts,
Too many craps to think n to ponder off,
Life is never going to be complete!

Feeling down...

           Thinking of the pass..we alway argue at some small matter thing.....now all come to an end...it wont happen anymore...maybe till love fades only i will understand to value every wonderful scenery but she has already left....Wonder if this a good decision...maybe we break would be better for both of us...
                          失去的恋爱难以勉强,忘掉一切,听着情歌总能满足一秒遐想...

旧事重演

       It passed so long tat i nvr post anything here le..i thought the latest post would b my last post cuz we were back together ...But now ..everything happen again..we were break once again..even the time we back together was short..but it really unforgetable...feel totally down now...donno how am i gonna continue writing............

Tuesday , December 02 , 2008

                      MY LOVE - WESTLIFE
An empty street
An empty house
A hole inside my heart
I'm all alone and the rooms are getting smaller

I wonder how, I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together
And oh my love
I'm holding on forever
Reaching for a love that seem so far

Chorus:
So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again, my love
Overseas from coast to coast
To find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green
To see you once again, my love

I try to read
I go to work
I'm laughing with my friends
But I can't stop to keep myself from thinking

I wonder how, I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together
And oh my love
I'm holding on forever
Reaching for a love that seem so far

Repeat chorus 

To hold you in my arms
To promise you my love
To tell you from the heart
You're all I'm thinking of

I'm reaching for a love seem so far
_____________________________________________________________
I really miss the day that passed with u...Really hope i could let go everything so easily as u did...At least i would nvr be so .........as now.....

Saturday , November 29 , 2008

                 Today..she throw all the thing tat i had given to her back to me..saying that she cant deserve it..i know what does she mean..she juz don wanna think abt me or even receive anything from me..I wonder why she cant take it as a gift from a friend?or even a normal friend ? Izit break up le cant b friend anymore?...

                  If this relationship really so easy to forget..i wouldn't had written this blog..She always on my mind,up till now no one can replace her .Even till the day i die i think to me she the only girl tat truly touch my heart and the one that truly breaks my heart.
                      This is just all a mistake!!
                    My heart remain untouch!! And the so call relationship from start is a false mistake !!
           Never really go ahead for both side!!

Tuesday , November 18, 2008

                     Quite sometime nvr update this blog le...I am really in the stat of speechless now...I dare to say i commit 100% love to her.I remember the promise that i cannot full fill to her is that i promise that i never let her shed a tear for me,but i fail in that i make her cried many times.
                      I know sorry ain't the hardest word to say and why be sorry when u keep hurting her.Letting go is the only thing that i think i cant do....she really mean so much to me.Much more then i expected in the past,much more than she ever feels or knows.
                      Not that i don't have chance to love again but.....Maybe for her i am willingly to forsake all....She will never be seprate with me in my memories,no matter how hard i try to forget.She always deep in me,till my last breathe...Many of my friends find me foolish,but i think it all worthwhile.Cause she the only gal that can make me love so hard ever again.
                       I love her..Miss her..As much as i did,first time when we started to love.I hope deep in her one day,her love for me will appear once again no matter what happen to her all this period we part.I am always waiting for her ..now and alway...

Tuesday , November 04,2008

              I don't know what is wrong with me,as i am writing this post.....My tears shed uncontrobally.I never know i can love and miss a person so much.Much more then i ever know,although i know it only right that i should walk past it.But i can't,i just can't do it

             I am feeling very miserable,i lost control of myself once again.I don't know what i can do or what i should do.

             It only right that she should find someone that she think that she can depend on,and find her true love.I can only say that the one is not me,i disappoint her too much.I might not be the only that she can depend on but i would like her to know that i might be the person that is truly commited to her.

             I don't know how much longer i can hold on,seriously no people know how i feel now.And i don't know who i can talk to that truly understand me.The pain is much more then i can bear,more then i can handle.I miss you so much ....i miss everything of you .To me you the most wonderful person that i had ever spent my times with.

         Though i know that even if one day she come back to me.The feelings will not be the same as before,cause a crack had already appear.I don't know when will i be able to walk out of this vicious cycle,a cycle that is eating my heart bit by bit .

          I tried to walk out but i just can't do it.I had been asking myself lately what make me love her so deep!What make her to leave me so cruelly!Is there really no turning back anymore?..

         Is there anyone there that could heal my heart,it bleeding profusely ever since the day she left.I am practically wasting my life away,timing is not stopping for me though.If i can choose again,i will still choose to love her so deeply even if the outcome will be the same.Right now i am pratically living in memories,memories that once had her in it!My life is just like a dream that i could never wake up from.
           
            I will love you Regardless of what you choose and doCause for me you are worth all my efforts and love..
                                  When we two parted
                                  In silence and tears,
                                  Half broken-hearted,
                                    To sever for years,
                          Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
                                    Colder thy kiss;
                              Truly that hour foretold
                                       Sorrow to this.

Tuesday, october 28 , 2008

          Saw her on msn today but i do not have the courage to msn her.I am afraid of getting negative replies or even make her think i am a nuisance.From the dm of hers msn..inoe tat she had found a new bf..feel happy for her for found a love one..
          I really don't know want to say what anymore but i can just say is that i miss her alot n still love her deeply. My life is messed up without her....everything is falling apart.... 
           I don't know i can hold on for how long ...i am really trying my best to make things work again and for her to feel love and regain confidence in me again... I love you so so much and missing you every minutes i breathe...
          As long as i still breathe,i will still try and hope...

Monday , 27 October , 2008

               laz nite cant slp..i feel asleep around 6 or 7...then early morning 8 am let a little kid that stay at my hse permentely wake me up... then cant slp anymore...
            I don't know what to say or what to think.When i saw my frens happily with their love one i am jealous and envy them.I hope all of them can be togehter happily but when i see them so sweet together,my heart just sink.
               How i wish i could be like them if there is more tolerance and understanding between us things will not be this way.I must admit that i did not handle thing properly..If i had not been so cold and inconsiderate i think we will not end up this way.After she left me i just try to forget everything and focus on my study.
               I will never get use to not having her by my side and i still hope that in the deepest part of her heart one day will tell her to come back to me.Can she really forget how we pull through togather when we work thing out togather.Can she really forget this relationship?I hope i will get an answer one day,i love her too too much..

              Today,someone asked me why i still care abt her even passed so long..i dont know what to answer..maybe i really love her too musch le..still cant forget abt her ..
                Really don't know what i am doing these days. Life is just not the same after she left,lost motivation in everything i do. Lost all sense of direction in life le...
               I tried to be happy but fail each time. Regardless how long it take,i think i will never forget her. It take a min or a day to love someone but take more then a lifetime to forgot someone..... Miss her so much..

sunday , october 19, 2008

Today went out for lunch ..on the way there hear a song from the radio although it is quite long / out dated but its relli meaningful its made mie think abt her.. i really miss her so much..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbIgdoY5TBk
                            Hannah Montana- I Miss You
                                       Sha la la la la
                                       Sha la la la la
                                You used to call me your angel
                      Said I was sent straight down from heaven
                           You'd hold me close in your arms
                           I loved the way you felt so strong
                           I never wanted you to leave
                     I wanted you to stay here holding me
                                         [CHORUS]
                                          I miss you
                                      I miss your smile
                                   And I still she'd a tear
                                    Every once in a while
                         And even though it's different now
                                You're still here somehow
                                My heart won't let you go
                                  And I need you to know
                                  I miss you, sha la la la la
                                              I miss you
                            You used to call me your dreamer
                            And now I'm living out my dream
                                Oh how I wish you could see
                           Everything that's happening for me
                                 I'm thinking back on the past
                           It's true that time is flying but too fast

friday, october 17 , 2008

PMR finally ended. Feel happy for the eam ended but feel like...feel hollow?I write this blog..not to hope she back to me..but just wanna write out..how much i miss her every single day..Time passed so damm fast..We break for some time le..but i still miss her so much..every day n night..
     That day when we break..even i not willing to..but..i cant do anything..i know she wont change her mind when she decided something..Wonder if there is still any love left in her for me or do she still miss me at times?If i can turn back the hands of times,i will still choose to be with her and will still love her with all my heart.To try my best to give her happiness and all the support she want,mentally,physcially,security and sense of belonging.Even though the end might be the same as now,i will still love her with all my heart.....
     She gaves me sweet memories that i will remember forever,memories that i can't shut out of my mind....